.___stella d'amore

pearldapanda @ 2005-09-09T16:57:00

2005-09-09T15:59:50Z

ive got a new LJ! so im gonna delete this one soon! so please please add me all of you beautiful beautiful people that i love!

lips_crimson lips_crimson lips_crimson !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

CLICK ON IT OR YOU WILL DIE A SLOW JELLY BABY LIKE DEATH!

pearldapanda @ 2005-09-07T21:35:00

2005-09-07T20:36:31Z

How did you meet hystericpinup?	<input ... >
2.~What would you do if you had never met fuk_da_duk?	<input ... >
3.~What do you honestly think of that_was_weird?	<input ... >
4.~Would or did that_was_weird and 5six7eight9ten go out?	<input ... >
5.~Have you ever liked that_was_weird?	<input ... >
6.~If mad_monster died tomorrow, what is one thing that you would need him/her to know?	<input ... >
7.~Would inyoursky and girl_razor make a good couple?	<input ... >
8.~Describe singlecell in 3 words:	<input ... >
9.~Do you think __oohlalacinema is hot?	<input ... >
10.~Would mad_monster and soldierkid make a lovely couple?	<input ... >
11.~What do you think of when you see 5six7eight9ten?	<input ... >
12.~Tell me something humiliating about girl_razor:	<input ... >
13.~Do you know any of cutoutthemoon's family members?	<input ... >
14.~What's that_was_weird's favorite color?	<input ... >
15.~On a scale of 1-10 how cute is andaerialoves?	<input ... >
16.~What would you do if __deviance just professed their undying love for you?	<input ... >
17.~What language does that_was_weird speak?	<input ... >
18.~Who is ella_da_emu going out with?	<input ... >
19.~Is _elna_ a boy or a girl?	<input ... >
20.~Would that_was_weird and __deviance make a good couple?	<input ... >
21.~Who do you think zero1two3four would be great with from this list?	<input ... >
22.~When was the last time you talked to __oohlalacinema?	<input ... >
23.~What is that_was_weird's favorite band?	<input ... >
24.~Does inyoursky have any siblings?	<input ... >
25.~Would you ever date cutoutthemoon?	<input ... >
26.~Would you ever date singlecell?	<input ... >
27.~Is zero1two3four single?	<input ... >
28.~What is that_was_weird's last name?	<input ... >
29.~What is that_was_weird's middle name?	<input ... >
30~What is that_was_weird's fantasy?	<input ... >
31.~Where does _elna_ live?	<input ... >
32.~Would you make out with hystericpinup?	<input ... >
33.~Are fuk_da_duk and cutoutthemoon best friends?	<input ... >
34.~Does singlecell like that_was_weird?	<input ... >
35.~How did you meet that_was_weird?	<input ... >
36.~Is __oohlalacinema older than you?	<input ... >
37.~Is soldierkid the sexiest person alive?

pearldapanda @ 2005-09-06T19:56:00

2005-09-06T19:04:03Z

PEOPLE I JUST WOKE UP GIVE ME SOME SLACK!

im one sophistocated lady!!!

ryan sed i should buy it to wear on st patricks day!

oooh who are those ggous people in the mirror!

squash!

ryan!!!!!

aww me and ryoni!

camoflage baby!

one cool dude!

and you are?

moi!

steve dario gemski!

mama R and baby P

the cuple of dreams

xxxxxxxxxxx

lots of love kisses

pearldapanda @ 2005-09-04T15:44:00

2005-09-04T14:49:45Z

im back at home
and i feel safe and lovly
:)

PEOPLE OF LIVEJOURNAL!
whats your favourite...?
tea:
lamp shade:
dressing gown:
cereal:
lipstick colour:
girl:
boy:
scientist:
thing on toast:
thing on your shopping list:
name:
age:
fact:
butterfly:
pudding:
artist:
alcohlic drink:
idea:
???????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????/
please tell me
other wise il cry
and and and
:(

pearldapanda @ 2005-09-01T21:51:00

2005-09-01T20:59:12Z

Is this all a deposition of ones thoughts?
i dont really have anything to write. Of beauty. OF humor. Of love...
Love; a web of emotions and yet i have nothing to measure it by...
love?
a deep wound cut in my side...
I must admit, i am one of those people who idealize love, and think of perfection, its the way i am, its a good thing and a bad thing, and its a trait i cannot help.
i fell in love with life today.
It hasnt happend in a long time.
i was lying in my bed here in the afternoon sun letting my skin soak up the sunshine, and i had the feeling of completness.
Its a beautiful thing. The bridge where solitude is not yet dull or lonely.
Where it is in perfect harmony with oneself, full, like the lips i kissed him once with.
Thats another thing. The confusion. I know he did treat me like shit... but maybe he will change. Maybe he has (although he has not yet tried to call me).
Or maybe he is just too young to know what a relasionship is.
he hasnt percieved the complecity of it all.
Im not saying i have either.
But i know its there. It does exsist. Il lie down to night and dream of him.
Already knowing hes not dreaming of me.
Thats where it all goes wrong.
dreams.
and reality
if you do read this...
we do need to talk
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
i love you forever

pearldapanda @ 2005-09-01T14:03:00

2005-09-01T13:08:22Z

im just gonna do it!
just be myself live up to myself
i will make this a fucking great year!
xo

pearldapanda @ 2005-08-30T19:42:00

2005-08-30T18:44:28Z

why are things not simple anymore?
mess will always be mess,
but maybe if i make something creative from the mess
it wont hurt so much
and it will stop being ugly..

pearldapanda @ 2005-08-30T17:31:00

2005-08-30T16:34:34Z

pearldapanda @ 2005-08-30T15:24:00

2005-08-30T14:31:36Z

last night was weird...
surreal
i floated back into the abiss of this social teenage world.
it was better than i expected.
towards the end of the night my head felt like a wad of chewing gum.
the black night, velvet like a sky made only for us.
the orange street lamps
the haziness of london roads only made for the strange, the beautiful and young?
Dreams come and go without any warning
They pause for a while. Look at you in the eye, and then walk on and before youve realized that there gone there out of reach.
you curse.
cry
my tears have run dry.
there a distant path on my cheek. A trail of sorrow, a stain of unrequited love.
i need to face up to myself, look myself in the eye as forcfully and boldly as in my dream, before i can run away from anything.
I am only scared of myself.
cuz i cant do everything.
im not strong.

pearldapanda @ 2005-08-26T12:18:00

2005-08-26T11:25:51Z

hello all
my brain feels like a wad of chewing gum...:S
i got to drunk to stoned to easily yesterday...
i felt like i was wollowing in the grass all my problems seeping out of my skin into the grass, the very grass where you and i met, my love...
underneath the exact trees
where are lips first touched.
where i broke her heart.
when will my tears stop flowing?
theres a constant mark on my face where they have fallen and will continue to fall.
And I know italy wont help, it wont blow all my whims, my sadness away.
But it might ease the pain for a while.
And i wont be missed.
i have this amazing talent for dissolving in and out of peoples lives, without them noticing.
Who knows. I may not go at all and just dissolve out of there lives anyway.
i dont need italy for that.
lastly i hope all of year11 got the results they wanted, it must of been a big relief...
xoxoxo
to all who saw me yday
:S this might be the last time you see me :O!
lololololol

pearldapanda @ 2005-08-24T23:03:00

2005-08-24T22:08:45Z

i wonder how many thoughts i have a day?

how many of my thoughts are profound...

how many people share the same opinions...

this is what ive been thinking.

so ive created a new community...

unlike _londonpondering (which is fab) _myperceptions is slightly different

my perceptions are the thoughts that you have that you wish you could tell people without the fear of humiliation!

profound consstructive ideas, and maybe it will become a place someday where we can help eachother in our problems.

i dont know

it was a thought

amuse me and join!

_myperceptions

pearldapanda @ 2005-08-24T14:39:00

2005-08-24T13:57:05Z

when i fell in love for the first time... i didnt want to admit to myself that i was actually in love, cuz for one the person i fell in love with was I felt above me in all levels, beauty interlect popularity, and secondly she was a girl.

Now your gonna go 'oh no teenage angst lesbian crush' but it wasnt sexual in anyway, not at all. But i was desperate to be with her to be her favourite friend. And in the conserquence Amy ruined my life. She suffered as well, she still is, anorexia is a disease of the mind. I was 'whipped' and it was inevitable: amy would always be my first unrequited love. But i got over her quickly because she became ugly towards me, she misjudged me. I may have loved her, but im not pathetic.

The second time i fell in love, it was a motherly love. And to an extent i do still love her. But i do have alot of resentment towards her. She is my red spark.

I then fell in love with him, but that was unrequited to because he is much older than i am, and i got very confused. lying awake listening to his beautiful songs, his beautiful beautiful songs. But i recognised that i just wanted the unobtainable because i wanted to delay thinking about my problems....

And then i fell in love with alex. Maybe he does love me. Maybe he did. Maybe hes just as confused as i about love. But i wont know. And i must love him if i allow myself to get hurt by him.

this is to show that love comes in all forms...

pearldapanda @ 2005-08-23T13:11:00

2005-08-23T12:17:04Z

is it JUST me or has 'the organisation' disapeared off the face of this earth?
if it has, i hope they feel ashamed...
fair enough i think there intial point was a fair one, but it ended up being a humiliation of peoples feelings.
The great thing about livejournal is that you can use is as whatever you want it to be. it can be a place to express your feelings, to blog your day, to meet people and get closer to the people you already know...
why should we 'not' write something because we're to concerned about how people might humiliate us.
theres too much of that in society
Maybe if this generation didnt keep there thoughts back are lives would be easier.
and furthermore
whoever did 'theorganisation'
mate your really fucked up if you think what you did was funny or cool...
good on you for closing it down if you did!
xo to all

pearldapanda @ 2005-08-21T21:37:00

2005-08-21T20:42:29Z

IM JUST IN LOVE WITH FALLING IN LOVE
ITS SUCH A SHIT LOVE AFFAIR
and all i asked was to be cared for
i dont even ask for love

pearldapanda @ 2005-08-19T23:33:00

2005-08-19T22:57:14Z

What we see and what we seem are but a dream, a dream within a dream.
On saturday the 14th of febuary 1900 a party of schoolgirls from appleyard collage picknicked at hanging rock near mt macedon in the state of victoria.
during that afternoon several members of the party went missing without a trace.

i watched this film when i was 7.
and i always remembered it.
it inspired me so much.The idea that i could be intranced by nature and wildeness, so that i lost all sense within the beauty and fear of it all. And that film catured that longing in me and i put it in a place behind lock and key in my heart.
it opened in that movie theatre.
things begin and ends at exactly the right time and place.
goodnightxo
please watch the film
Does being lost inspire you?
tell me...
even the people hu dont normally comment on my LJ...
please do.. for my curiosity

pearldapanda @ 2005-08-18T13:14:00

2005-08-18T12:19:02Z

im very upset.
im very confused.
i dont like beautiful things becoming ugly.
i dont like when mirrors break.
i dont like bullying.
im very upset.
tears.

pearldapanda @ 2005-08-16T21:47:00

2005-08-16T20:53:53Z

They talk of life .
Life precarious
They say
It is as it is
How could it be otherwise?

In the sideway
Off to one side
Out of reach
Out of the running
Negotiating northen light

A passing note
A trick of time
A little life
A cheonered life
Something seen from afar

You see
Much said not said
Less said the better
Sometimes silent
Sometimes ludicrous
Anachored in the every day

i thought id share my poems with you......
xxooxx
please please PLEASE tell me what you think

pearldapanda @ 2005-08-16T15:23:00

2005-08-16T14:32:12Z

The pearl settled into the lovely green water and dropped toward the bottem. The waving branches of the algaie called to it and beckoned to it. The lights on its surface were green and lovely. it settled down to the sand bottom among the fern-like plants.Above, the surface of the water was a green mirror. And the pearl lay on the floor of the sea. A crab scampering over the bottom raised a little cloud of sand, and when it settled the pearl was gone.
and the music of the pearl drifted to a whisper and disappeared.
JOHN STEINBECK THE PEARL
read it... it made me cry..its amazing

pearldapanda @ 2005-08-14T11:50:00

2005-08-14T10:57:18Z

it must be love love love
!!!

pearldapanda @ 2005-08-13T19:18:00

2005-08-13T18:20:31Z

if only i could say something intelligent
....................................................
may and ryan...
cudgi
soo sooo sooooo cudgi
i love them both
AND I SPOTTED THEY WERE ATTRACTED TO EACHOTHER
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
MOI MOI MOI MOI
KISS MY FEET YOU TWO
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
heehee
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

pearldapanda @ 2005-08-12T11:20:00

2005-08-12T10:31:19Z

i am actually pissed off with him you know ....
i still cant believe him. No one tells there friend let alone there girlfriend that they couldnt be bothered to txt,call, or try and meet up with them! cuz its not like i can see him tomorrow cuz hes going to america which means i wouldnt have seen him for a whole fucking month!
And from what ive been told all hes doing now days is sitting infront of the computer.
i feel really neglected.
well il wait til he comes back from america
il see him
if hes the same with me...
well il see

what should i do?
please tell me you wize LJ users
xxxxxxxxxx

pearldapanda @ 2005-08-12T01:31:00

2005-08-12T00:34:40Z

THiNgS aRe Not WhAt ThEy SeEm

he wasnt
im not
you arnt

CAN LOVE PLEASE GIVE ME A FUCKING BREAK?
I THOUGHT I HAD FINALLY WORKED IT OUT!
AND THEN IT COMES AROUND THE CORNER WITH ANOTHER PUNCH IN THE FUCKING MOUTH!

why cant somone look after me and love me and understand that i need someone.... no one on this fucking earth loves me like that.

pearldapanda @ 2005-08-11T10:55:00

2005-08-11T10:10:19Z

im so confused.
i do believe him i think.
just his reaction to it all. but theres still that little bit of worry biting at me and i cant seem to ignore it. but just all the circumstances.
i crashed at sophies house for like 3 days as i was down and her parents are away.
matt maire and martin are so sweet! sophie and them really cheered me up.

Did anyone watch lost?
i thought it was quite exciting... a bit steriotypical... ONE THING why do they all have ggous bodies? jeeez they just came out of a plane crash i think they have a exuse not to look immaculate! that was a bit unrealistic. And i feel soo sorry with the fat guy with the crazy hair! i mean thats wht everyone gonna call him. :( poor guy!

pearldapanda @ 2005-08-09T16:37:00

2005-08-09T15:38:09Z

forget my tears darling
theyve run dry

pearldapanda @ 2005-08-09T12:17:00

2005-08-09T11:21:36Z

and NO i didnt pull ryan .....
thxu